Your Questions, Our Answers

So, we thought we would give you the opportunity to learn some new things about us and have been asking you for your questions over the last week or so. It’s fairly safe to say that you didn’t take us seriously and used the opportunity to ask some very silly questions indeed, we don’t mind though, they’re much more fun.

@Charlotteeeee__: Why don’t monkeys rawr? That’s my question.

Not sure on the meaning of rawr, but after a quick look on urban dictionary we discovered that rawr is ‘I love you’ in dinosaur. So unless a monkey felt the need to proclaim its undying love for a velociraptor, it would be fair to say they have no need to rawr, so they don’t.

@daddystronglegs: Why hasn’t anybody ever saddled up & ridden a zebra? Maybe they have, I dunno, but you don’t see it often.

We suggest you check out the film Racing Stripes, videographic proof that a zebra has been ridden before. Watch as a young Hayden Pannettiere saddles up on a zebra and as a bonus you can see a dog with the voice of Snoop Dogg (see what they did there? It’s very clever.)

Seriously though, zebras rarely succumb to man’s attempts to tame them; precisely like Simon.

@ThomasMikeHardy: What is the average speed of a swallow?

Tim claims to be able to swallow 804 metres of strawberry laces in 30 seconds, clocking up a speed of around 30 mph, which is a pretty fast swallow. Simon on the other hand possesses a weak oesophagus, and in the same 30 seconds devours nearly 54 metres of strawberry laces; 4 mph. Therefore, the average speed of a swallow is 17 mph.

@JimHxn: How long does it take to actually record the podcast (without all the writing, rehearsing etc)?

We start by recording a couple of warm up links to get us in the swing of things, then work our way through the topics we have planned; which usually takes about 45 minutes. We edit as we go, but there’s not often much to do (aside from bleeping); we found that however well you edit a conversation, simply re-recording it sounds much better. The majority of our time is spent putting the adverts together and the podcast itself. Add another 25 minutes to listen through to the show in its entirety, and we’ve been sat there for a couple of hours!

Maya Hutchinson: You ever played video games and which was your favourite? You should play Portal 2.

Hey Maya, we’ve never played Portal 2 but Simon is a fan of the first one, and we’re both fans of cake, so we’re sure we’ll like it. We both like to play games, Tim’s current favourite game is Batman: Arkum Asylum (hence wanting to call his flat the ‘Barnes Cave’) and Simons favourite is Boggle.

@VickyEasyspace: How did you two first meet?

Greenacres Nursery School, Shrewsbury, circa 1990. A child with a massive head and a beard met up with a child with a massive chin. They became friends, fed a rabbit some coca cola, stood on a mole and danced to Mambo No. 5. They struggled through puberty, left school, and became the men you know as Paul and Barry Chuckle. As for us, well that’s a different story.

Alison Hallworth: How did you score such an awesome wife?

Sorry Alison we don’t condone polygamy, we may seem like we’re never apart but we don’t share the same wife. Hohoho. We’re assuming you’re referring to Barnes. Tim is happily married and “scored her” with his wit and an oven of smouldering chicken carcases (ask him when you see him in person).

Tom Mason: How did you get into the radio ‘business’??

We’ll tell you if we get there, for now find a community/hospital radio station and do some volunteering man, you should do a podcast too, it be good practice in teaching how to speaking good, innit.

@PandorasBox1: How are air fresheners made?

They’re made with pirate urine. You see, pirates eat a lot of lemons as the vitamin C helps with the prevention of scurvy, and a by-product of a heavy diet of lemons is citrus scented urine. As they spend a lot of time at sea they often kill time by making air fresheners! You’ll think twice before hanging one up in your car now wont you?


We’ve never been to Jordan but we hear good things about it on the news and we’re not sure where Cheryl is; Tim thinks it’s a typo and that you meant to say Chernobyl, in which case we definitely prefer Jordan.


Well that’s it for our first Q&A session, the key word here being “first”. If you have a question or want to learn something about us then let us know. Thanks for the questions everyone, and if you’re on Twitter go and find the people who asked us questions and follow them, they’re all very nice. Whilst you’re there come and find us @timandsimon and on Facebook.

See you soon.

Tim and Simon


  1. Seeing as its pretty unlikely for me to see you around somewhere with you living on the other side of the Country, how am i supposed to tell you apart from listening to your podcast?

    • Firstly thanks for commenting! As for telling us apart, It’s quite simple actually Layla. You see Tim is the man with the deeper and often louder tones and Simon is the man (who by his own admission) sounds like a siren with a lisp, yet quite articulate at the same time. Hope this helps.

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